


Breaking ones own bones

by 8_Ghost_8



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Dream bein cool, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, No chat in this fic, Phil trying to parent desperately, Pretty mild mentions of Tommy n Wil, Self-Harm, Sorry guys, Techno being...a mess, just cannon stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:35:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28904985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8_Ghost_8/pseuds/8_Ghost_8
Summary: Technoblade has always had issues, it shouldn't be a surprise that things turned out the way they did.(This is literally just Techno angst with Dreamnoblade at the end. It's completely self indulgent, and you know what? I deserve it. Ps! The self harm is more...self destruction in general? Theres only some slight cutting in the beginning, and it's accidental/not really intentional)
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit
Comments: 13
Kudos: 387





	Breaking ones own bones

**Author's Note:**

> So! First work. Feeling..weird. Shipping....two block men, one doesn't have a face, one is bacon. Low-key proud of this one tho so uh,,,yea  
> Like i said, it's an open ending and i doubt I'll continue because I really don't know where I could go from here, but for those looking for closure, assume this is a happier timeline where things go differently bc of Techs n Dreams blooming romance~  
> Also omg the title is shit but i just,,,i cannot. What even is this? What can I call it? It's just some fat paragraphs of thoughts and angst, my guys,,,

There was something wrong with him. Techno was sure of it since he was a kid. He took shears and he ran them over his hands lightly, and they left painful little lines on his hands. When Phil saw him doing that he freaked, told him all about why it wasn't allowed, and then asked him if it didn't hurt. It had hurt, Techno just...hadn't minded much. He realized that was weird later on. 

When he finally started going out to fight mobs he avoided getting hurt by them so Phil wouldn't notice he was sneaking out. By then Wilbur had joined their little family. He'd protect Wilbur. Even if he never really had that strong familial connection with him, he still cared for him. He started getting bruises on purpose after a while. In sparring, fighting mobs, or just punching trees. He wanted to break. He wanted to feel his bones splinter. But he didn't. Because Phil would be sad, and Will would be worried, and the newest addition, Tommy, would ask questions Techno didn't have answers to. So he didn't show Phil every wound he got, and every so often he broke a rib or a finger and it didn't matter. He grew up. He had many scars. Wilbur called him reckless, chastised him. Tommy called him cool, brave and adventurous. Phil told him not to get killed.

Wil was the first to leave. He was the oldest, it made sense. Went off to a colony, "Smp Earth". Not the most creative name, but an interesting idea. Many big names had invested in it. Surprisingly, it was Tommy who followed him second. They always were much closer to each other than Techno was. Phil seemed sadder. Techno promised himself he wouldn't leave.

Techno was a filthy liar. Techno was a filthy liar and he was leaving Phil with an empty house and the promise of postcards. Wilbur had been sending them regularly, at least. Techno set off with the goal of looking out for his younger, well, one older, brothers and maybe gaining some wealth for Phil along the way. He figured it'd be a good way to keep an eye on his siblings and bring something home for it. Only God's above know what Tommy and Wilbur could get themselves into.

Techno was alone for the first time in a long time. He didn't know how he felt about it. He thrived in solitude, but he now there was too much to think about. Mostly all of it being how he'd left Phil behind. He could do whatever he wanted now, whether that was a blessing or a curse, he wasn't sure. In his frozen kingdom, he stayed outside too long and watched his fingers get frostbitten. He didn't take care of wounds until they had festered, and pressed ice to his scarred skin until it was too painful to bear. Things were fine.

Phil showed up after three days. Techno was shocked. It was rare he was ever caught off guard by anything, but this was something he hadn't ever seen coming. Phil took one look at him and marched him into the stronghold. Techno didn't even think he looked that bad, maybe it was just a dad thing. He wondered vaguely why Phil hadn't gone to Tommy or Wil, either of his better sons. 

"Techno, take off your shirt, kiddo."  
"It's kinda cold here, Phil." he muttered back half-heartedly.

Silence. With a sigh he pulled off his cloak, and after the loose blouse he wore underneath. Judging by Phil's deathly silence, he wasn't happy. Didn't seem surprised though. That might be bad.

"Let me bandage your back."  
"Alrighty."

And so he did. And then Phil had a serious conversation with Techno about taking care of himself, and Techno pretended to understand.

They took over the Smp. Tommy was very passionate about the whole thing, declaring wars and challenges. Techno enjoyed it. Wil seemed to like him a little less. Maybe he'd gone too far with claiming the world.  
They went back home, after, with riches and memories. Tommy chattering on and on on the way home, Techno chuckling fondly every so often. He fell asleep on Technos back, and they rode the rest of the way back home in comfortable silence. For a while Techno had unmarred skin, save for his previous scars.

Wil was the first to leave. Again. Invited by a friend of both his and Technos he rode off toward fame. And again, Tommy followed. This time Techno stayed home longer, resisting the age old pressure to wander explore leave and hanging out with "Old man Phil" as he jokingly called himself. Wils postcards became less frequent after a while. Tommy wasn't in them. Sometimes they came back smelling of gunpowder and soot. Techno was already gearing up to leave then, but the final one was asking for help, and if he wasn't intent on galloping towards the Smp on the fastest horse in the stable before, he was ready to now. With another promise to send postcards, he was off.

The first few days were fine. He was horrified at what Wil and Tommy had gotten themselves into, but it was mostly Wil he blamed for dragging Tommy into it. Tommy, idolizing Wil as usual, didn't see it and would only defend him. They begged him not to tell Phil, that the war would blow over soon and they didn't want him to come out here, so he didn't. He sent a postcard saying Wil and Tommy were in a spot of trouble, updating him on the crops he started growing, letting Tommy write a portion of it.

It went downhill fast. He got them good gear, helped out where he could. Schaltt stopped all mail going out of the Smp. Generally he let innocent mail like Technos go, but if it mentioned the rebellion struggle it was a no go. Probably the only reason he let any of Technos letters go is to make sure Phil didn't come running. Techno considered just not sending letters anymore, but he didn't want to make such a desperate cry for help..and Phil didn't deserve this. He started talking to Dream after his gift to Tommy. After all, it was useful to have powerful allies. And...the guy was funny. Good to spar with. Interesting. And also observant. After every battle Techno came back with less wounds, better armour. Which meant he took worse care of himself, cuts left bandaged but untreated. He cut one of his fingers off after it was sliced by Purpled in battle. That was fine. 

Dream worried over his hand after that one, made sure he took care of it properly. That's probably about when he started seeing Dream as more than an acquaintance, a friend maybe? Who knew. Techno sure didn't. They became closer. It was nice. The festival was announced. He was invited, which was odd. Probably a trap. That was fine.

Wilbur was withdrawing. One evening Dream was acting off, the same night Wilbur came home grinning. It had to be connected. Neither would tell him what for. A few days before the festival Tommy became skittish and worried. That was concerning. But no amount of wheedling would get him to spit out what was wrong.  
The festival came. Tommy and Wil continued acting off. He felt Dreams eyes on him as the event progressed, watching from the shadows. He knew something was wrong when he got called up on stage. Everyone knew he didn't do public speaking. He knew it couldn't end well for Tubbo, trapped in a cage of clay and metal bars. 

When Techno shot him point blank with a firework, he prayed for forgiveness. To what god? He didn't know. But it was a prayer. Unfortunately, Tommy didn't hear it. Wil was definitely gone. The Wilbur he knew would have broken up fights, not egged his brothers on to beat each other in the pit, in a battle with a predetermined winner. Techno was numb.

He had let Tommy get in a few hits. He deserved it. He wanted the pain. Or, more the knowledge that it was there. That some part of his body was damaged. He went out, after that. Into the nether, into caves. Fought endermen, spiders. Got bitten, beaten, blistered. It was in the name of gathering supplies, he reasoned. He knew it wasn't.

Dream found him on the sparring grounds, a hillside a good ways away from Manberg or Pogtopia. People. They had claimed it as their own, at first for training, then for talking and sitting in the warm sun. It was evening, now, and he was lying on the grass, bleeding sluggishly from several wounds, a warm breeze blowing his hair around. Must have looked like a mess. That's a shame. Dream was one of the few people whose opinion he cared for.

"Techno...what the fuck.." Dream whispered, crouching down beside him and gently brushing his hair out of his face.Techno just hummed, and closed his burning eyes.  
Quietly, Dream pulled out a first aid kit from his satchel, along with a regen potions. At that, Techno sat up with a grunt.

"Dream, I don't need a potion..can take care of all these cuts myself, too."

Dream just leveled him with an incredulous stare that Techno almost wilted under.

"I really don't need any sort of regen…"

For Dream, it was the sentence that solidified months worth of suspicions. The badly taken care of wounds, the reckless fighting style, the way Techno absentmindedly pressed bruises or cuts on his body when he was stressed or bored. It wasn't ego. Dream hadn't realized that it was this bad, for him to go out and purposefully get hurt, only to refuse regen simply to keep the injuries.  
Pulling out gauze, disinfectant, and water, Dream worked silently, cleaning up the far too many wounds on Technos body.

"What happened?"  
"I killed Tubbo."  
"I saw that. I mean what happened after."  
"Tommy fought me. In the pit. Something's wrong with Wil."

Dream almost paused in surprise at that. Tommy had always idolized both brothers. He supposed it did make sense, with how close he was with Tubbo. He felt guilt claw at his insides knowing exactly what was going on with Wilbur, yet keeping the middle brother in the dark.

"I can't imagine Tommy cut you three times and then bit you to hell and back though, huh?"  
Techno chuckled,"You'd be surprised."  
Silence stretched.

"What happened?"  
"I just...went out to the nether to grind. It's stress relief."  
"The grinding or the pain?"

Techno didn't answer that one for a while. Just as Dream was about to prod more, he answered.

"I don't know."

Dream sighed, handing Techno a regen potion. Silently, not being foolish enough to think arguing would work, Techno drank it.  
Dream gently washed his bruised face. Tracing his fingers over the angles of his face, old scars, Dream finally cupped it and kissed him on the nose, lightly. 

"Why?"

It was like a dam broke, quietly, as Techno leaned into him, curling in on himself at the same time. At first he tried to hold the sobs back, shaking, but Dream held him and he finally let go. Ever since he'd left home, left Phil, he barely got to interact with anyone outside of Dream. His brothers only needed him for battle anymore, everyone else feared him, now even more than before. He stood by helplessly and watched as his family broke apart, their father probably oblivious, thinking Techno could protect them. That Techno had protected them. He was a fool to trust someone who couldn't even take care of himself. 

Techno clutched at Dreams hoodie as he tried to keep himself from wailing his grief, his exhaustion, his loneliness. Dream didn't deserve this. To have to put up with him. But he couldn't stop sobbing, and he didn't have the energy to pull away. Eventually, after far too long, his sobs died down to hiccuping and stuttering breath.

"I'm sorry,"he stumbled over the word, trying to breathe,"D-Dream. You- You shouldn't have to-"

Dream pulled him closer,"Techno, please, it's fine. Stay over at my place tonight?"

Trying to calm his hiccuping breaths, Techno nodded into Dreams hoodie. Slowly, other senses came back to him. He felt fabric, how cold the ground had become, the chilly breeze of late evening. His dry throat as he swallowed, the tear tracks down his face.

To his embarrassment, Dream, with no hesitation, picked him up bridal style. Starting to breathe normally again, he tucked his face further into the others shoulder, ignoring the world around them and the mortifying ordeal of being carried. He just focused on the bone deep tiredness and the warmth that radiated from Dream. Eventually, they came to a small but cozy cottage, Techno had no idea how they'd gotten there, but didn't bother thinking about it too hard.

Dream let him down on his feet, supporting Tech into the home. When they got inside, he led him to a couch in front of an unlit fireplace, trying to pull away. Techno clung to him for a second too long, and then let go a second too quick. Dream frowned in concern for his...friend? His feelings for him had evolved as they spent time together, but he wasn't about to evaluate them as said person sat on his couch, after crying into his shoulder for half an hour.

Quickly, he threw some extra wood into the fireplace, and started one with flint and steel. He set some water to boil, though it would take a while with the low fire. Hesitating for a second after finishing, he walked over to Techno and curled up next to him on the couch. Immediately, the hybrid tucked himself into his side, all bashfulness and reserve he'd previously seen from the other man gone. He didn't mind, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him closer. Waiting for the water to boil for tea, his mind drifted.

Techno was breathing steadily by the time the water was ready, sleeping, and Dream loathed to get up and possibly disturb him, but he couldn't leave one of his only pots to burn no matter how much he may want to. Grabbing a blanket to cover the other man with, he slipped away to lift the pot off the flame. Entering the kitchen, he made tea and absentmindedly tapped on the tabletop.

It would be a violation of both Wilbur's and Tommy's trust to tell Techno anything, but it was already a violation of Technos trust to keep it hidden. It's funny, because that was the smallest issue in it all. Did Dream really want to blow up L'manberg? It had really begun as more of following Wils fancies, figuring it'd turn out in his favor anyway, but as Wilbur acted more and more erratically Dream wondered. Wil hadn't found the button that day at the festival because Dream hadn't told him the exact location. It had been a half truth. He'd given him the general location, but in a moment of doubt he'd not elaborated. Somehow, Wil didn't notice, too caught up in glee. At the time he'd been angry with himself, but now he wondered if that was the right choice.

For seemingly no reason, he abruptly snapped out of his thoughts and realized the tea may have over steeped. He picked up the cups, two in case Techno woke, and headed back to the couch. Placing them down on the decorative table, he sighed, got under the blanket, and fell asleep next to his greatest rival, and enemy in the war.

Techno woke up in a strange house. This already put him on edge. His eyes were slow to open. Also concerning. But he was warm. Under a blanket? There was someone next to him. There was someone next to him? Eyes half opened, he measured his breathing to be natural and shifted to look at the other. Blond hair. Maybe Tommy had had a nightmare? It hadn't happened in a while, and he certainly doubted Tommy would want to come to him for comfort, but with how Will was acting it was possible. Then he noted how much bigger the other was. And the mask tossed onto the carpet by the fireplace. And the fact that if he was in a different home there was no way Tommy could be here. Well.

He managed to slip off the couch without waking Dream up. Remembering yesterday's mortifying ordeal of being known, he decided there was no way he was hanging around. Practically out the door, he paused. He went back inside, grabbed some paper, found a pencil in his pocket and wrote Dream a note. There. That should express his thanks well enough. And hopefully get Dream to never speak to him again. He surprised himself by not liking the idea of that. Shrugging on his cloak, he stepped out. It was dark. Probably early morning, judging by the light showing over the horizon. It was nice. Cold. Almost painfully so.

After Dream woke up with the sun, and realized Techno had left. That was quite rude, but he wasn't surprised, with how jumpy the other was. He would have probably done the same. Wandering into the kitchen, he was surprised to see a note.

"Thanks for letting me stay. You're a really great person.",That part was shaky, like it took effort to write, for some reason. Knowing Techno that reason was pride ,"Never talk to me again. Sorry."

Dream couldn't help but laugh. Everytime he reread the note he laughed harder, until he ended up a wheezing mess in his kitchen. He was talking to Techno as soon as possible.

**Author's Note:**

> So! First work. Feeling..weird. Shipping....two block men, one doesn't have a face, one is bacon. Low-key proud of this one tho so uh,,,yea  
> Like i said, it's an open ending and i doubt I'll continue because I really don't know where I could go from here, but for those looking for closure, assume this is a happier timeline where things go differently bc of Techs n Dreams blooming romance~  
> Also omg the title is shit but i just,,,i cannot. What even is this? What can I call it? It's just some fat paragraphs of thoughts and angst, my guys,,,


End file.
